Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
