Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(905): View more from Toronto

No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags

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(219): View more from Indiana

where are my pants?

(1-219): View more from Indiana

you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm

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(802): View more from Vermont

Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.

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(404): View more from Georgia

The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant

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(519): View more from Ontario

I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training

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(519): View more from Ontario

yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?

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(402): View more from Nebraska

His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?

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(303): View more from Colorado

A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.

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