Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
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Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You ate ashes out of my bong
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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