At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We left an ass print on the piano.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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