I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
