I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
