check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
