I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
