no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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