I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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