when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
