whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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