I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
