We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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