i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
