Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
