I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
