he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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