So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Enjoy the penises
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
