her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
