Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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