So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
