she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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