it wasn't lemon gatorade
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize