Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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