The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
