she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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