"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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