I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
