She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
my being single is dangerous.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
