I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
