Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize