My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
