a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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