are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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