One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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