just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
