Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
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I just googled if crying burns calories
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
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just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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