awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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