(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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