Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
