apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize