I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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