Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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