I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
