does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
