This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
