You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize