it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
And then he peed in my hair
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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