i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
