Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
