my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize