..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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