I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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