My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
