I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
