The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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