So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
