needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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