i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
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