Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
