why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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