Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
