Fuck appropriateness.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
There was a lot of him and a little penis
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You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
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Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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