Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
