I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
