Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
