wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
